Sunday, July 29, 2012

Complete Surrender

You stand in the doorway, with a look of apprehension.  That hint of worry about whether you can physically make it through.  A bit of annoyance in the fact that I would even ask this of you in your current state.  That hesitant reluctance in the way you shift in the doorway.  I just smile that knowing grin.  He won’t even remember why he was being so childish in 5mins anyway.

You kneel before me, your face contorted with emotions of shock, desire, fear, lust, confusion and clarity.  I love these moments when I have you so twisted up that even your face can’t help but respond.  My mind just reels with all the possibilities and yet all I do is stare.  I wonder if you can read me like I do you.  Do you see the depths of depravity I have planned for you?

The pain from your desperation twists your face in such a beautifully and yet ugly way.  Your voice speaks from the edge of tears.  I feel your body pushing to get what it wants, what it needs, what it would die for.  There’s a tug at the heart strings.  That small piece of me that wants to wrap you up and protect you.  Yet, those same tears pull out a piece of me that just laughs at the touching thoughts and continues to torture you anyway.

The quiet soldier like bearing you wear as I begin my assault on you.  It screams out in the silence, like a challenge, to make you make noise.  You stiffen and hold fast, getting lost in your mind to avoid the pain.  But then you wiggle, that first wiggle that lets me know I’m crossing the threshold.  The wall begins to crumble and it quickly falls way.  That’s when I feel most like you are mine.  No walls, no safe guards, nothing left for you but me.  Nothing left for me but the sheer raw side of you.  Pure honesty.

The body goes limp, the tears flow freely now.  The resistance is gone, completely.  I enjoy the full surrender.  Knowing your so lost deep inside yourself, I feel free.  Nothing left to fight, nothing left to break.  Just a pile of nothing beneath me.

And I let go

No comments:

Post a Comment