Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Difficulties

When I started this blog, it was with the intent of cataloging and sharing my adventures in learning to become a Dominant.  Though a bit over a year into flexing my muscles, I still feel so new and so raw at it.  What really surprised me a bit, was how tough of a time I have had changing the mentalities I’ve lived with all my life.  

Why the surprise?  

Well, I’ve always been naturally dominant in my day to day life.  I’m not a bossy, pushy or even outspoken type, but all my life people have naturally turned to me for leadership, guidance, training and wisdom.   I’ve never had the hang ups that so many women I know do, which is that life isn’t worth living without a man taking care of you.  From a very early age, men were simply a source of entertainment, fun, and companionship.  As far as aggressiveness?  I’m pretty sure that’s what the A in my middle name stood for.  My entire childhood was spent playing with the big boys and I never for a second doubted my ability to keep up.  Sexually, I was a pretty adventurous soul and while not everything turns me on, I’m open minded enough to hear it all without judgment.  I mean I didn’t even baulk when my boy started telling me about his kinks.  I mean when I think about it, I’m almost surprised I didn’t find my way here sooner.

So what was so difficult?

OMG, EVERYTHING!  Ok, not everything, but it did surprise me how many socially ingrained taboos I really did have.  Things like equality and fairness made it hard to simply order him around.  My “take it as it comes” attitude still causes issues with planning things out to avoid conflicts.  My independent nature and do it myself attitude caused him much concern early on.  

The kinks themselves were easy, fun actually.  Most everything I had already played around with in some form or another.  Taking charge in the bedroom happened almost instantly and as I explored and learned.. it has expanded quite nicely.  But actually taking the control out of the bedroom has been an interesting and sometimes very frustrating challenge that can leave me wondering if this is all worth it.  But yet, somehow I wake up each morning wanting to continue and so we do!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Kicking off the Football Season

It's been a bit of a lazy day today, well at least for me!

After a late night full of fun and kink, I slept in rather late today.  But still awoke to a nice breakfast from the boy.  A bit of lazy snuggling on the couch, then a nice session of the boy between my legs.  Next up... sending the boy off to the store for the game day munchies.  The rest of the day was spent enjoying all the games of the day with a good boy dutifully taking care of me! Sweet bliss!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Getting Back in the Saddle

Life has been so hectic and stressful that finding time to post has been a bit of a rarity.  On top of school and activities, we had to battle the sickies as well.  Thankfully both the boy and I are on the mend and kid free all week, so now it’s time to stir the pot and see what trouble bubbles the surface.  The boy has been awfully cheeky all week and needs a bit of a firmer hand.  Though thinking we got the weekend started off right. 

Friday night was girl’s night out… to a football game!  I have to admit I loved the irony of leaving the boy home to deal with dishes and laundry while the girl’s and I were getting rowdy at the local college football game.  After getting home, a little servitude and body worship then I tuck us both into bed.

Today has been a rather fun filled day.  A nice lazy morning as a wrapped up some work related issues while being served breakfast in bed.  The boy took a little prodding to wake up from his nap to get started on the house cleaning, but admittedly it was a fun excuse to warm up his sexy ass with my crop.  As aggressive and rough as I am with my hands, I still find myself a bit tentative whenever I add a tool in my hand.  Though today seemed a little different.  Even though everywhere I read states not to hit out of anger, I found allowing a bit of it out during his correction very helpful in overcoming that issue.  A couple dozen deliciously sounding whacks did the trick to get the boy back in his headspace and the rest of the day flowed very smoothly.

First up was a short but lovely visit from a stud we had met last year when we first got started with the cuckold play.  A wonderful and sexy gentleman whose demeanor we both adore, we were sad to learn shortly after our play date, he was sent off to Afghanistan.  So I was over the moon last week, when we had received a message from him that he would be in town today.  Actually, his plane was landing here and he would drive off to visit family on the east coast.  I felt a bit extra special in that he actually didn’t even wait to go home first, but instead chose to drive straight from the airport here.  While the visit was short, he did leave my boy a nice, nasty, juicy surprise to clean up when he was done.

Next up… the young pup.  A sexy, little vanilla boy who thinks he’s ready for a little kink .  Wonderful boy in bed, full of all sorts of energy… Now time to see if he can handle the twisted side.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Ships in the night

The past two weeks have been extremely busy on the home front.  Between the kiddos going back to school, sports and activities kicking back into high gear, plus an ever increasing workload from work on both of us, it’s felt a bit like we were two ships passing in the night.  Too tired to have any real fun and more importantly, too ragged to communicate properly.  The latter unfortunately lead to a rather large argument that hit last Thursday.  It ruptured from a series of missteps on my boy’s part, that I found rather offensive in nature, the last being the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  On my part, I admit to not reigning him in right away, but as my stress level was through the roof and lack of sleep was more than apparent and had been explained… I felt he should have been more conscious in being clear in his communication.  In the end, The resolution wasn’t as satisfactory as I would have liked, but we both agreed that taking the few extra minutes needed to ensure we are both on the same page about things was important when the stresses run high.  

It wasn’t until Sunday that we actually made some time for the needed corrections and some good old fashion beatings to help drive the point home.  Laying him out over my lap, I settled in for a nice, long OTK spanking.  All bare handed, and with a revolving set of intensities, I think we were both a bit amazed at how long and how hard of a spanking he took.  After about 45mins, my arm was sufficiently tired, his ass redder then it has ever been and both of us flying a bit too high to quit now.  I stood him back up, as I teased his cock and balls relentlessly.  He stood there on the shakiest legs I’ve ever seen as I continued this sweet torture for near a half hour.  Edging him over and over again as he thanked me profusely with his mouth and begged me desperately with his eyes.  Finally I relented and let him cum all over my chest.  Before letting him collapse on the couch as he needed to, I lovingly pushed us both off to the shower, teasing him that he’d better clean up his mess ASAP before he got himself into another round of trouble.  I swear I saw a gleam in his eyes at the thought of a repeat of that whole scene.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Claiming What's Mine - Part 2

The intensity of the moment sends you literally flying off my cock and out of the bed.  You stand there half dazed and bewildered yet still full of the lust and longing from the moment.

I watch you intently, so unsteady on your feet.  You shake your head slightly as if you are still trying to shake the final cobwebs, trying to comprehend what just happened.  I see those little peeks at me, at the cock still standing tall between my legs.  I see the traces of longing still in your eyes.  I know the mental debate is coming and I smile as I begin stroking my cock, enticing you on.  My smile broadens as I can see my incentives are working their magic on you.  You get that crooked little grin and then turn away quickly, trying to hide it from me, but inadvertently showing off that cute little ass of yours.  I let out a loud “Mmmmm” at what I see.   It seems to be straw that finally breaks your will as you turn and quickly climb on the bed and straddle me, reverse cowgirl style.   If only you could see the wicked grin that crosses my face.  

I begin caressing your rear as you slowly work my cock back in, very much enjoying the view and the show.  As you finally get near the base, I quickly stiffen my hips to help finish the job.  You let out a loud moan as my hands snakes around your hips, finding the perfect grip right there in the crease and using it to pull you in deep.   You slowly begin to rock, back and forth, up and down.  For a moment, I relax, letting you do all the work, and just watching you work your hips.  Running my nails down you back, I feel that electricity pass between us.  That familiar feeling I get when I know you’re getting lost on me.  The whimpers and moans you let out in pleasure, drive me intensely crazy with lust.  Slowly, I begin thrusting my hips upwards in perfect unison.  I watch you intently, as your head rolls back, eyes closed.  I can barely see then, but I know.   The steady rhythm of a near perfect dance, is lolling you to faraway lands.  To bring you back, I begin quickening the pace.  Once again grabbing hold of your hips, pulling you to me to help you match my pace. That pace which seems to just flow from somewhere deep inside.  

Then I hear it.

The spiraling increase to your moans.  Ahhhh, now I have you.  We both know it.  Know where I’m taking us.  Together.  It quickens my pace as I feel it begin to grow deep inside me too.   It drives me faster, harder in order to make it grow.  That beautiful orgasm that makes us both just float away.  Then right before it explodes, I feel you contort.  It almost stops me.  Then I feel it, warm, dripping down my leg.  I nearly laugh out loud with my utter excitement.   How I love making you cum with my cock up your cute little hole.

It drives me utterly insane with lust, as I renewed my pace; you matching me stride for stride.  Your moans have long since turned to near screams.  Never edging down, never backing off.  Once again, I feel it building again.  Back building with renewed vigor.  Your screams almost mimicking the spiral upwards I’m feeling.  As I explode with my orgasm, I feel it again.  A warm drip on top of my thigh, as I’m feeling my own juices come gushing out.  You literally go flying off my cock, stumbling out of bed completely.  The most wicked grin spreads across my face, even as I’m near breathless.  I see that look in your eyes.  The one that lets me know you are pondering the thought of just how crazy I might really be. 

It makes me smile even wider.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Claiming what is mine - Part 1

I see you lying there sleeping so soundly. Back facing to me, all curled up on top of the sheets. That cute little ass of yours slightly wiggling with every breath you take, taunting me. My mind begins wander back to the events of last night. With each passing thought, I get a little more wound up, a little more turned on, a little more wet. I reach down and begin stroking the cock I’m still wearing from the night before, trying desperately to find the patience to let you sleep just a little bit longer.
But soon, the excitement gets the better of me and I begin to let it all go. Letting my hand trail slowly up and down you back, each down stroke going a little lower until my hand is now rubbing that which I desire. Letting my finger find that crease in your ass, I begin to slowly tease your opening. You let out that gorgeous little whimper of a moan that tells me, even in you sleep... I know what you really want. With my other hand, I reach down and begin slowly stroking my cock again. Soon, I just can’t wait any longer, and I begin stroking my cock slowly up and down your crack. I linger the head right there at your opening, teasing it, waking it up long before I wake you up. Finally the stimulation begins to get to you, slowly rousing you from your slumber. You roll over onto you back, still clinging to the edges of sleep. But the decisions been made, it’s time to wake you up and take what’s mine. I reach down and begin stroking your cock, watching it get hard. Your moans and whimpers let me know you’re coming around. You breathe shallows up, your body starts writhing with the pleasure, letting me know it’s time.
I gently roll you back over on your side, adding a little more lube on my cock. Again I begin rubbing it up and down your crack. You respond perfectly, wiggling and pushing back against it. I let the head find your hole, my hole, and begin to slowly, gently push it in. A little gasp from you lets me know I’m passed the first ring. I slowly pulse my head right inside your ass and you begin to wiggle and push back on it, desperate to get more in. I let it slowly slide in further, feeling you tense up just a bit as the further invasion starts to register for you. If only you knew how hard I fight that urge to just slam it all in there. One smooth strong stroke to claim again what is mine. But instead I ride that wave of desire in my head, feel the power rush surge up in side and smile. I pause for a moment to look down at the beautiful site, my cock stretching out that ass. Watching that pink little ring turn back white as I slowly pull out. I keep that pace up for a little while. Long, slow, steady strokes… watching each time as my cock slides in a little more and a little more.
But then I feel that wave rising quickly, my pace picking up as it does. My orgasm rapidly taking over, my fingers dig into your hips almost to the point of pain. My other hand reaches up and grabs a fist full of hair. You moan in anticipation of the assault that’s you know is coming. Faster and harder now, I continue to fuck you, but with complete reckless abandon. My moans and screams now matching yours. As tidal wave comes crashing down, I make sure you feel every bit of the intensity I do. My hips shaking violently, my thrust now coming hard and deep. Desperately trying to get every inch of that cock buried deep inside you as I climax. Finally claiming what is mine all over again. Soon I collapse down on top of you, feeling spent… for a second at least.

Weekend overload

The week was a busy one, with a full house and lots going on.  Back to school meetings, shopping, last blasts for summertime.  It was fun and great family bonding time.  We did manage to sneak in some good fun, which I love being able to do.. keeps us both a bit more grounded.

But now the house is kid free and we both have a couple days off work, so been enjoying a bit more of a kink filled weekend.


Monday, August 8, 2011

Lazy boy!


You didn’t want to get up this morning.  I tried being nice.  Pulled out all the stops… but NADA.

“Lazy cow”, I thought as I headed off for my shower.  Getting ready as usual, it was finally the hairdryer that woke you up.  I stepped out of the room to finish up.  When I popped back in to grab my shoes... there was your ass hanging off the edge of the bed.  

REALLY? 

After being lazy, sleeping in and not getting my breakfast and you think you get to play? I thought to myself.  I was about to turn heel and head out for work, when that wicked little creature in my head said “HEY!”  And I stopped… 

“But it’s such a lovely target, and you are a bit frustrated”  

“No”, I thought..” I need to get to work”

“But it would be so fun!”

“But he didn’t earn fun, he’s been bad”

“Ohhhh.. but we could have fun with that, maybe tease him and work him up.  Make him think this is gonna be fun and then just lay into him”

And at that moment, I realized that wicked little creature had distracted me enough that I had caught myself rubbing that sexy ass with my hand.  Almost without hesitation, the hand swung back and “SMACK”. 

 “MMMMMM”

That was it. I was done for.  That resounding vibrations running down my hand made me all wet. 

“I told ya so!”

“I know, I know.. but I really am going to be late, and he’s been a bad boy”

“He HAS been a bad boy… a VERY bad boy!  But no reason WE can’t have some fun with it.  I mean if we have to skip breakfast because his lazy butt didn’t get out of bed, the least he can do is appease you in this way”

And I silently giggled that wicked little giggle of mine in agreement.  By then, my hands had wandered around your hips.  I pulled you in quickly, pounding your ass against my hips.  You were getting turned on, hoping for something hot and heavy.  I stepped back and reach between your thighs.  Sure enough, like the nasty little whore you are, you were hard as a rock by a simple dry humping from me.  “Better enjoy it while it lasts”, I thought “because the beatings will now begin."

It was all with my bare hands.  A steady rhythm of smacks, as I got lost in my own beat.  Bringing you back to me when you tried to get lost in space.  A tender rub, a loving touch, I feel you warm back up to me and I go right back at it.  You try crawling to safety, almost begging.  Makes me smile and yet sets my determination .  I grab the ankle and drag you back to position.  3 good hard smacks… “STAY”… and I hear that whimper of resignation.  One last assult, as you try and find one last fight, but it’s just not there.  

 As I finish I collapse on top of you, pinning you down against the bed. 

 A sweet kiss goodbye and I’m off out the door for work. 

The Weekend it Was

It's been a very interesting and crazy time in the household.  Our kid free week was a bit of a roller coaster and very emotionally draining.. but in the end, very worthwhile and long overdue.  There was plenty of fun had, some tears shed, a couple light bulb moments and very much a meeting of the minds so to speak.
Our relationship has been sitting at a bit of a sort of crossroads for a while now.  Both of us wanting to move the D/s further, but with me not being entirely sure how and him not wanting to overtly influence where I lead us… it kind of left us floundering a bit.  For the last few months, life has kept us so busy we didn’t really take the time to address these issues and they came bubbling to the fore front.  Not entirely in a bad way, but the frustrations (mostly on my part) surfaced.  I wished I had not let simmer for so long, but one of the huge learning curves in this whole D/s way of life is the whens and hows to really start these discussions.  We communicate very well, but one thing that makes it tough sometimes is the simple fact that we can, at times, speak two different languages.  As someone who is very new to D/s and BDSM, the terminology and way of describing things can be very foreign to me.  So while he is doing his best to explain what he needs, where he can and cannot go, and even the why he wants/needs to go there, my translation of what he is saying isn’t always spot on.  Those little confusions can cause some frustrations on both our parts and the resulting actions leave us both feeling, well... flat. 
The good news, we took the time (though not intentional at first) to really talk at a very deep level, in a way we haven’t done in some time.  We kept at it, till we felt we were both fully understanding each other.  It was tough at times, as some things that needed to be said were not all nice and fluffy.  We revisited things, expanded on things, and dug down to the deep and nitty gritty.  At times we felt raw, exposed, sad, happy and even angry at times.  But when all was said and done, we both felt better, relieved, as if a weight was lifted off the chest and we could breathe again. 
What I found most interesting was how the plans we had made ahead of time, some how synched perfectly with the discussions going on.  They were helpful in almost a defining sort of way, but I’ll let those stories unfold on their own.
 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Where it all began...

Well, if you ask my mother, she say it was all the fault of my very first babysitter… but that’s really a whole different story for a completely different place.

So fast way forward, past a crazy childhood that was really no fault but my own.  An extremely eventful 4yrs at college.  A completely derailing of me during my stint in the Army.  A 13yr marriage, with kids that somehow ended with me still being my ex’s relationship counsel.  To a wickedly wild return of my freedom where somehow I stumbled across my boy. 

It was a social site, a witty message and a lot of interesting conversations as we tipped toed around the real truth.  But little bits slipped out.  We began comparing high level notes.  I was a swinger and not interested in monogamy or even marriage.  He was into BDSM and had been from a young age.  My adventurous bone was intrigue, the virtual chemistry flowing… it was time to meet.  The date set, and then delays.  It’s almost hilarious now to think he was late, like several hours late, for our first date.  But he did call each time it slid.

Drinks went well.  Drinks went extremely well.  Just something about him.. his confidence, his boldness.  Though I think now it was his face.  Sexy yes, but it was more the animation that played every emotion across his.  I just had to have him.  Drinks paid and out the door.  An invite back to my place.  A kiss on the back porch that curled my toes and a night that I’ll never forget.  Or so I thought at the moment, little did I know how much more was to come. 

It was the start of something beautifully wicked and a bit like a dream come true, yet like no dream I had ever had before.

Introductions

Hey there and welcome to my blog.

Who am I?  

Really, who can answer this question fully and how can one begin to touch on it in short paragraphs?  In short, I used to be an extremely open minded and adventurous soul.  I enjoy pushing boundaries in every facet of my life. I find fun and adventure in almost everything that I do. Love the outdoors, travel and sports of every kind, especially the extreme ones. I believe life was meant for living and that every rule was meant to be bent, if not entirely broken.

But over a year ago… I met a man whose presence in my life changed… well… everything.  Well no, not everything.  I’m still everything I was before, but now I’d have to add…

I am a subtle Domme, who prefers to lead from the back.  I am a seductress, a temptress, a confidant and nurturer.  I don't bark orders or demand submission, but rather I will twist your mind, your soul until my world is all that exist for you. I will teach you not only to embrace your fears, but to love them, crave them.  But be forewarned, I am twisted, wicked and evil.  I do not ride shot gun with the devil... he rides shot gun with me. 

This blog is a ride along as I delve into my insanely wicked world, and as I desperately try to balance it with the realities that is life. 

So who are YOU?