Monday, August 8, 2011

The Weekend it Was

It's been a very interesting and crazy time in the household.  Our kid free week was a bit of a roller coaster and very emotionally draining.. but in the end, very worthwhile and long overdue.  There was plenty of fun had, some tears shed, a couple light bulb moments and very much a meeting of the minds so to speak.
Our relationship has been sitting at a bit of a sort of crossroads for a while now.  Both of us wanting to move the D/s further, but with me not being entirely sure how and him not wanting to overtly influence where I lead us… it kind of left us floundering a bit.  For the last few months, life has kept us so busy we didn’t really take the time to address these issues and they came bubbling to the fore front.  Not entirely in a bad way, but the frustrations (mostly on my part) surfaced.  I wished I had not let simmer for so long, but one of the huge learning curves in this whole D/s way of life is the whens and hows to really start these discussions.  We communicate very well, but one thing that makes it tough sometimes is the simple fact that we can, at times, speak two different languages.  As someone who is very new to D/s and BDSM, the terminology and way of describing things can be very foreign to me.  So while he is doing his best to explain what he needs, where he can and cannot go, and even the why he wants/needs to go there, my translation of what he is saying isn’t always spot on.  Those little confusions can cause some frustrations on both our parts and the resulting actions leave us both feeling, well... flat. 
The good news, we took the time (though not intentional at first) to really talk at a very deep level, in a way we haven’t done in some time.  We kept at it, till we felt we were both fully understanding each other.  It was tough at times, as some things that needed to be said were not all nice and fluffy.  We revisited things, expanded on things, and dug down to the deep and nitty gritty.  At times we felt raw, exposed, sad, happy and even angry at times.  But when all was said and done, we both felt better, relieved, as if a weight was lifted off the chest and we could breathe again. 
What I found most interesting was how the plans we had made ahead of time, some how synched perfectly with the discussions going on.  They were helpful in almost a defining sort of way, but I’ll let those stories unfold on their own.

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