Sunday, July 15, 2012

Breaking Complacency

I don’t care much what anyone says, complacency still exists in D/s and BDSM.  You often hear about how D/s relationships are so much better because the power dynamics keep each other from feeling complacent, but many times I wonder if that’s really the case.  I do believe it provides an easier way to break the complacency, but it still happens none the less.  

One of my boys most infuriating habits (at least to me), is that he has no clue when he is actually tired.  It’s written all over his face, but he’ll insist he is fine (and he honestly think he is).  Next thing you know he is sound asleep where ever he happens to be.  And he sleeps like the dead.  There’s no waking him up to get him upstairs, or to play or anything else that may need doing… he’s down for the count.  This often led to heated discussions and even an argument, but eventually I learned that important lesson… As a Domme, you don’t always get what you want, but if you’re creative and flexible, you can get awfully close.  

One of things that irritated me about it was that I often got stuck sleeping in the bed alone.  I’m a creature of touch and I crave it deeply.  Sleeping with someone calms me, relaxes me.  Knowing he is under my roof and not sleeping with me… well… frankly just pissed me off.  But instead of the endless arguments, which I hated, I decided if I gave a little… we’d both end up happier and I’d ultimately get what I wanted which was him in my bed.  My compromise?  I have to be the one to catch him when he’s about to fall asleep.  His new rule was he HAD to go to bed without argument.   It fixed a lot of things for us and made life a lot smoother.  

But once in a while, when life gets busy, we get complacent.  I’m too mentally beat to push at all and he’s too physically beat to pull at all and things tend to slow down around here.  Thankfully my libido keeps us from lasting in these spells for too long.  Unfortunately my timing sucked last night and he fell asleep before I got what I needed.  Since he did promise me play time though... he got to pay for it this morning!

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