Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Cuckolding - The Biological Imperative?

During a recent Fetlife thread, an unruly troll came along with the vagrant claims that biologically women were incapable of separating love and sex.  I found the notion a bit absurd, simple because I’ve never had that issue.  I’ve also met a number of women who didn’t have this issue.  While I would agree that on average, women are less likely to separate sex from love, I always inferred this as being more a result of how we were raise.  

I was raise in a household that was primarily male based, in a neighborhood over run with boys.  It was pretty rare that I ever heard the tired notions of how women were meant to behave.  Instead, my parents fostered the ideal that I could be whatever I wanted.  I was treated equally to my brothers.  My brothers never coddled me, rather they forced me to stand up for myself, learn to hold my own, and most importantly to fight my own battles.  So it should be no surprised when I became sexually aware, that I baulked at the ridiculousness of many social norms since they had not been drilled into my head.

But As I read the Troll’s irrational arguments, I became curious… what really was our biological nature?  Spending a bit of time perusing the internet to find factually based studies that pointed towards our true biological nature, I was quite a bit surprised at what I found.  Below was my response…

“To continue my argument though... looking from a purely biological standpoint, Cuckolding IS the optimal solution for a female’s biological nature. We are fundamentally predisposed to desire copulation with genetically superior males in order to ensure survival of our offspring. Yet once the offspring arrives, we are biologically designed to protect them which includes desiring a stable, supportive, dependable mate. Translate to cuckolding... the bull being the superior male, the cuckold being the dependable parent.

From the male prospective, it's practically undisputed that men are biologically designed to spread their seed.  Thus, making them less likely to be monogamous and hinders the females ability to find the dependable, parental mates.  But recent studies have shown strong evidence to suggest that hormonal levels of vasopressin, which can be determined by a specific gene count, actually effects how suitable we are towards monogamy. So in certain males, the assumption would be, their genetic makeup has overridden their biological design, resulting in a stronger desire for a more monogamous role.  These are the males who are more suitable cuckolds.”

What I found interesting with this research is how it seems to better define my views on love and sex.  I also think this is why cuckolding appeals so much to me.  I’ve never been to keen on the traditional views of love and monogamy, though I love the comfort and cuddliness of a solid home filled with love, laughter and familiarity.  But my adventurous side craves the variety and stimulation of a crazy, wild sex life.  The kind that requires a variety of people to experience.  The bonus to cuckolding, versus an open relationship, was the simple knowledge that my boy would always be there when all was said and done.

Now granted, I’m a strong believer that nature and nurture both play a strong role in who we become.  Though when I think on my life and what may have influenced me to this point, it’s hard to find much relevant other than the experiences I choose to put myself in.  So I found it interesting in that, absent of any strong cultural directive in my childhood, that I would resort to what would be seen as the natural biological state for my sexuality.  

In the end, regardless of whether it was nature or nurture that influenced me, I love my life as it is.  I have no regrets, no guilt and certainly no issues with the way I’ve chosen to live my life!

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