Monday, September 9, 2013

Digital Play Toy

I'm not shy about saying I'm not a fan of on-line play.  It's far too limited, just not personal enough, and there's no touch.  I love touch!  Not  having it is just blah to me.  But I learned long ago, never say never.. and now I have take back the whole "I don't do On-line Play" mantra

I have an on-line pain toy.

There I said it.  It's still far too limited, not personal enough and there's no touch.  It's not something I can see me looking for or even wanting.  This?  This just sort of happened. He had reached out sometime back within my first year into BDSM.  A pretty simple message and a polite reply turned into a slow moving conversations of one liners, short stories and brief notes that went on for 2 years.  Occasionally he'd ask a question that would turn into more indepth conversations... but for the most part, it's a pretty shallow relationship.  I don't know his name, I don't really know what he does for a living, I don't know what his hobbies are, I've never seen his face.  What I do know is he's a submissive man who is tentatively exploring this side of himself.  He's still a little confused about what it is he likes and why he likes it... but he's learning.  He's a pain slut, who dreads the thought of pain, hates the feeling of pain, yet craves it deeply. 

So one has to wonder, how or why did something so simple and silly morph into.. well, what ever it is you'd call it.  I won't let him call me his mistress, or domme, or anything like that.  I don't want the responsibility, so I simply refuse to take authority.  He messages me when he wants, I reply when I want.  All I ever do is torture him... there's no loving sweetness, no commitments, no promises.  I exert no more control then the little bits I demand in conversation... and even then, we both are well aware I can't really make him do anything.  It's pure obedience based.  I say, he does.  That's basically it.

 It's a playful indulgence.  It's a wicked playful indulgence.  So he's been named my digital pain toy.

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