Back when we started, when he first asked if he could be my
cuckold, I was pretty adamant that humiliation wasn’t something I’d ever be ok
with. I just couldn’t wrap my head
around the notion of being able to treat someone you dearly love with such
utter contentment. I couldn’t see how I
could respect a person who would let me do that to him. I mean, I was all about
the equity crowd and the cuckolding alone was a bit of a curve, welcomed, but
still a curve.
But then, almost from the start, it was kind of fun to put
him in embarrassing positions in front of my lovers. I still remember the first time. Most of the guys we were playing with were
still mostly straight, so we really hadn’t done any forced-bi. We were also still a little green on our
search process. The gentlemen we had
over that night was a great guy with a pretty nice cock… but just kinda lack
the right umpf in the bedroom for me. My
cuck already knew this one wasn’t going to work out and had that sheepish look
on his face. I don’t know if it was my
frustrations, or that apologetic look on my cucks face that set me off. I crooked my finger at my cuck, a little push
with my hand to bend him over the dresser and I proceeded to spank him while my
guest kept right on fucking me. The
essence? The bitch got punished for my
lover being an average kind of lay. And
right in front of the guy to boot. Now,
no words were ever exchanged between my cuck and I that whole time. But after my guest left for the night, my
cuck bent down, kissed my feet and apologized for wasting my time. I completely melted!
When the forced-bi came along, I realized how excited it
made me to taunt my cuck while his mouth was wrapped around my lover’s
cock. Things like making him mumble how
much he knew I was going to enjoy fucking it and how much bigger it was then
his. The first time I spit roasted him,
I just gushed everywhere. I think, even
back then, I knew my sadism went beyond the physical… it’s just hard to admit
to oneself that you really like being a meanie.
I still worried about whether I could respect him after shoving him down
that way.
I remember his reaction the first time I called him my
little dick. He melted into a delicious
gooey mess. I’m pretty sure there was
even a tear in his eyes. It made me
swoon just a little. I’ve dipped my toe
a little deeper as we’ve moved along, but more recently, I find I’m getting
much more accustomed to the water and really liking it. Like those moments he gets that pained look
in his eyes, it makes me rather lusty.
When he gets all small and vulnerable, all I want to do is tear him
up. When he pouts or whines… I get a
little giddy. I realized then, that yes,
I found I actually respected him a little more.
Most of the lover’s I’ve had have not been able to really
get in to humiliating my cuck this much.
They all find it hot to watch me kick him around a bit, but never really
joined in. A few would might hurl a
couple insults a bit, a few more kinda got off on telling me what to say to
him. But we were struggling to find a
good bulls who could really enjoy the entertainment, almost as much as I
do.
But with Mr. L., oh my, did we have fun! With the others, I’ve always felt I had to
hold back a bit to keep them from getting too uncomfortable. Some men just can’t watch another man get
decimated that way. Mr. L. LOVED
IT! I think when he walked in and barked
at my cuck, there’s was kind of a small sigh of relief that washed over me,
that I kinda let loose on that sadist in me.
At times, I was a rather mean and vile at him. To the point that when reflecting on it, I
sort of shocked myself. Oh, don’t get me
wrong. Not for one moment do I regret
anything I said or did. By shocked, I
mean that I was shocked that something I was quite adamant about in the
beginning of the relationship had been completely thrown out the window. These days, I can be quite the bully...
though I’m usually laughing the entire time I belittle the shit out of
him.
What I find so fascinating is just how turned on it really
makes me. Much like the physical aspects
of sadism, the mental just turns my cranks far more than I ever expected. I still worry a little, in the back of my
mind, whether there’s still a point where the respect goes out the window. But for now, I just love the man even more
for not only putting up with my utter contempt at times, but actually adoring
me for willing to be so cruel. It’s still
quite amazing how all this stuff really works out.
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