Naked in the Kitchen

I love watching him naked in the kitchen.  Not exactly sure why.  I mean, I love him naked and him in the kitchen means I’m NOT in the kitchen.  Though, it’s more like a heartwarming moment that just makes me melt and love the little bitch all that much more.  I mean, there he is, slaving over the stove, making me something tasty while butt ass naked so I can sit and stare at his cute butt wiggling around the kitchen.

Tonight he’s being cute and coy about it.  Sneakily starting up dinner while I was catching up on a TV show, it took me a few minutes to get wise that he was doing more than refilling a drink.  I ask him what he’s doing… “Cooking” he teases. 

“What are you making?” I ask.

“Food” is all he says with that guilty smile.  “Go back to watching your show.”

I giggle and let him have his way.  I go back to watching my show.  A quick stop by from a friend dropping some stuff off.  Not ten minutes after our friend left, then I look up to see his naked ass bouncing around my kitchen.

“Mmmmmm, when did that happen?”

“When you weren’t looking”, he said with a little wink and crooked smile.

“Uhuh…Doesn’t the smart ass need a good smacking?”

“Maaaaybeee!” as he wiggles his ass at me in temptation.

I laugh and shake my head, then settle into watching the show.  The muscles that flex as he moves back and forth.  The little jiggle in his ass cheeks when he turns suddenly.  The way he sort of waltz around the kitchen with purpose and grace.   Occasionally I’ll get a hip shake just to tease me.  Just SEXY!!!

Plus, it’s a fun power trip as I watch him balancing plates to serve me where I sit.

On the Forth Day of Kinky Christmas

Santa decided to remind me I’m not a spring chicken anymore! LOL

Things have been rather sexually charged around here.  My boy’s cage is proving extremely useful in actually ramping up his libido, even while knowing he can’t do much about it.  So when N turn into such a fun night... we stayed up way too late and played just a little too hard.

The next day, my body didn’t want to wake up.   As I struggled to get through the work day, I realized I was going to be worthless for any fun for the evening.  So I had my boy do a little rearranging of our plans in favor of a quiet night at home.  Oh sure... there was teasing, taunting and lots of giggling, but I’m pretty sure we were both passed out by 8PM.

Turned out to be a good thing, as the next two days we played even longer and harder.

On a side note, after the publishing of the QoS interview loaded with pictures, I figured the pictures are out there now... might as well add them to the blog.  So as a belated Xmas present to all my readers, enjoy the pictures.
 

The Ebbs and Flows

So how have the boy and I been?  Amazingly wonderful!!!  Over the past few months, I’ve noticed a nice easy flow to our lives now.  I’ve been working on deepening his submission to me and he’s enjoying every minute of it.  Oh sure, he occasionally complains when I spoil his fun, but he is thriving under the heightened expectations.  Oh, he’d love it if I was a bit more stern, bossy and even a bit bitchy... but it’s really not my style.  I am finding that I enjoy being a bit more sadistically mean and a bit more  demanding then I suspected, and it’s seems to create a better motivation within him on a more daily basis.

Cuckolding has been a bit more stop and start lately.  Between surgery, work and kids, we just haven’t had a whole lot of time to play.  But we’ve used what little time we’ve had to our advantage and met a new lover to add to the mix.  We’ll call him AJ.  He has a quiet dominance that I find rather enticing.  He actually gets off on watching me dominate my cuck, and has even joined in a bit.  He’s also not afraid of getting really rough and has this hard, steady pounding to the way he fucks that literally has my poor cuck peeling me off the floor by the time he’s done. 

All in all, I’ve been pretty content with how the year has been going , except for keeping up this poor blog.  I’ll have to work on that, though I make no promises!

Where's the Vanilla?

Often times on FetLife, there’s questions that pop up that I struggle to answer.  It’s all those questions that talk about “kink versus Vanilla” or “D/s versus Vanilla”.   I look at life with my boy and have no clue how to define what’s kink and what’s vanilla.   I don’t mean from a this is D/s and that’s Vanilla.. what I’m getting at is what makes something D/s and what makes it vanilla.

I mean, just take yesterday for example.  We have some DIY projects that were far over due and with my mother coming to town, I laid down the law that all these projects would be done before her arrival.  That would be D/s, right?  But it’s a simple painting job.  Isn’t that vanilla?  What if I further explained that, in order to get the job done, he choose to hire outside help.  I mean he made that decision, not me… but he still made that decision in order to accomplish my overall intend of getting the jobs completed before my mother’s arrival… so was that D/s or was that vanilla?

So now I sit here, on the couch, with three men running around my house getting all the work done I want done.  Pretty vanilla, right?  But what if I threw in the curve ball that one of the men working today is also one of my lovers?  That he knows what we both look like naked.  He’s seen my boy in some rather compromising positions.  Does it change anything if I told you he took the job that was in my line of sight and is currently shirtless while he paints?  What if I told you we shot sexual innuendos back and forth the whole time he painted?

What if I told you that all three of them would come get me to give the nod of approval every time a big task was completed?  I mean my boy was the one managing the job, assigning out the tasks, looking over their shoulder and checking their work… but they still felt compelled to seek my approval too?

So when I look at my life as a whole, I don’t know how to pull the two apart.  I’m not sure it even makes sense to try.  I used to see vanilla as the things we did to get by in society as a whole.  Things like grocery shopping, cooking dinner, running the kids to soccer practice.  Kink was the sexy play things we did, like flogging, bondage, cbt, cuckolding, etc.  D/s was the intent placed behind things.  So when I told him to do something, it was D/s… when he did something to just please me, it was vanilla.  But after 3 years of living together… it all feels like D/s to me.  Outside of work, his default mode is to make me happy.  Whether I ask him, or he simply does.. in his mind and mine, he does it to keep me happy.  

But we’ve even gone so far as to interlace kink throughout our lives.  Is watching TV kinky?  Most would say no.  But if we’re watching TV while he’s naked and I’m dressed and he’s rubbing my feet… is that kinky or vanilla?  And could someone please tell me where the line between Vanilla sex and kinky sex actually is?  If we’re missionary style for a nice quicky.. that’s vanilla, right?  But what if I give him directions on how fast or slow or certain movements… does that make it kinky?  But yet.. I used to do that with vanilla boyfriends too.  I mean how else were they going to know what I liked and didn’t like?  I still do it with my lovers while my boy is standing right there.  Does it change because my lovers view the statements as guidance and not commands?  But yet they both seem to do as I say.

So I have to wonder.. is there really any benefit to actually separating them out?  Or is this something of an exercise geared more for the part timers than those of us who live it 24/7?

I'm not dead... YET!

I bet you thought this blog was dead.. didn’t you?  Yeah, me too! LOL

So where have I been?  I been here, still dealing with a crazy busy life and having as much fun as I can squeeze in!  Unfortunately, a slightly busier than normal schedule and a HUGE case of writers block meant every post I started to write never managed to get finished.  I have about 8 stories half written and a handful of topics started, but for some reason the endings just haven’t been coming.  I was struggling so much, I actually contemplated shutting it all down.  

But I realized I’d miss it.  It’s a fun outlet for me and while my comments on the blog are negligible… I’ve gotten some fun interaction in my inbox from it.  So I’m going to try and buckle down this week and see if I can wrap up a few of these old posts and get a bit more regular in posting again.  But as always… I make no promises!

Corporal Punishment

Corporal Punishment

It’s a set of words that seems to fire strong reactions from many.  It comes up in about every book or guide about Femdom that I’ve had the opportunity to glance.  Often when it comes up on Fetlife, you’ll see a lot of comments like “I never hit in anger”, “My sub is a grown up, not a child”.  On other boards, it swings the opposite way to comments like, “needing a strong hand”, “Keeping him in his place”.  There are suggestions that abound along the lines of chore boards and punishment schedules… and it all makes me wonder how much thought people actually put into all of this.

For the record, I maintain a corporal punishment dynamic and I enjoy it immensely.  While my boy does enjoy the heavy hand and it works well to keep him in his place… I’d be lying if I say I wasn’t smiling while doling out his punishments, and that’s exactly why it works so well.  Those silly lines, “this hurts me more than it hurts you.” yeah... complete bullshit in my world.

Early on, it wasn’t always that way though.  When we first started, my ignorance led me to follow the options laid out in the books I read.  I made my list of rules, assigned the punishments for breaking each one and off we went… except we didn’t.  It took less than 3 months before I knew it wasn’t working.  It wasn’t just one reason that made it not work… more like a collection of them.  For one, I’m just not big on rules and protocols... so there wasn’t a lot of motivation on my part to really keep track of what he did wrong.  Add to that my empathetic and sympathetic nature often had me making excuses for why this action didn’t warrant punishment and that action made me feel like I needed to lessen them.  My actions in turn signaled to my boy, the bratty switch that he is, that I didn’t care enough to demand his submission.  So I dropped it all together.  

After dropping the above, there really weren’t any rules for him to break, all I asked for was final authority, a level of respect as the Domme, and enough kinky play times to keep me satisfied.  We floated along for a while, doing pretty well most of the time.  He is just naturally pretty attentive to me and eager to please, so it was easy to just sit back and enjoy it.  I’m not one to make many demands, so when I did; there wasn’t much real fuss to comply coming from him (playful complaints... but not fuss).  When he would get a bit cheeky, I enjoyed throwing him over my knee to give him a better sense of perspective.  It was a very simple corporal punishment dynamic.  It was easy to see why this was the way most Dommes tend to prefer things.  It’s simple and easy at face value.  I say, he does.  Period.  

But we human beings are NOT simple creatures at all.  When I say it worked most of the time, it highlights that it didn’t work "some" of the time.  The major problem was that those times it didn’t work were usually when we needed it to work the most.  Those moments when both our lives were running us ragged and there was no time for me to tell him what I needed, no time for him to focus and ask me what I needed, no protocols for us to fall back on.  It left us rudderless, and it frustrated me at such an unbelievable level... I would literally snap. 

When the snap happened in December, I knew I was at the end of my rope.  We had to find something better.  We argued a lot during that time; at times it was pretty ugly.  We found some peace in the decision that we both agreed we had something too special to let an issue like this get in the way.  We calmed down, and we talked.  We talked for days, until the days turned into weeks.  Somewhere in all the mess, it dawned on me that what we needed was a steady rudder to keep the dynamic alive when neither one of us had the strength to be the oar.  I needed ways to keep him attentive when I couldn't actively ask for it.  Those rules and protocols I often scoffed at were exactly the type of rudder we probably needed.  I think deep down I knew this for some time, but was fighting it based on past experiences.  So I made the decision, which I could tell my boy was very happy to see.  It took nearly another two weeks and lots of thought to build the “rules”, and I still ended up with barely half a page.  But my desire is that this simple list will be just the rudder we need, yet avoid the pitfalls we’ve dealt with before.

Of course only time will tell if this will do the trick.  It's been a little over two weeks since the "rules" were put into place.  It’ll take time for us both to acclimate, and then of course we have to wait till hit one of those moments to see how well it steers us.  Though I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the thought of “helping” my boy learn the new rules kinda excites me and my paddle quite a bit!