You're NOT a Domme

Ugghh… I get annoyed when I often see comments regarding a particular act as being submissive in nature and therefore Dommes shouldn’t do that.  For some reason it’s been popping up a lot lately again.  So a fun little quiz for everyone…

Imagine the scenario, I’m pegging my boy, but he is on top.  He controls the speed, rhythm and penetration.  But it’s still me penetrating him.  Knowing just how I like it, but not being told to… my boy rides me to not one… not two… but three huge orgasms.  Mine, not his.  But after my third he is so close he begs to cum and I let him.  All over my chest. 

Who’s the Dominant?   Who’s the submissive?  

I was the bottom, he was the top.

I was the penetrator, he was the penetrated.

He had control, I simply received the sensations.

My pleasure came first, his came second (and by command I may add).

In the end, who really cares?!?!?!  

If I actually worried about how acts were perceived, I doubt I would have had one orgasm… my brain would be on overload.

Would it change the answer if I were to say that was a small snippet of playtime on my birthday to where my boy completely surrendered his body for my use, abuse and pleasure? 

How ridiculous is this debate anyway?

Bad Domme

I did it again...

I broke my toy! 

Bad, Bad Domme!

Not really… he’ll be fine.  But his body feels like someone pummeled him from the inside (Ok, Ok… I know I did that, though he did beg for every last minute of it)

I think the only solution is to ensure he is used much more often so his body can build up a tolerance to me.

Being a Domme is such hard work!

Happy Birthday

I awoke this morning to a bedroom covered in rose petals and breakfast in bed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

He lies down beside me, ass in perfect reach.  Fully exposed for my enjoyment.  Playful little smacks between bites.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

My new paddle, his dreaded nemesis, is tucked into the tray.  I smile and, without hesitation, give his ass a few swacks. He stifles the moans.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

My birthday card is a tribute to the hamster dance.  I laugh hysterically as he begins dancing his ass to the silly tune.  I’m in such a good mood I land several more swacks with the paddle and I’m laughing so hard I’m about to spill my tray.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I send him off to take the tray away and get the toys ready.  I sit and ponder all the possibilities.  It’s so tough to pick one or two or six… oh wait, have only 2.5 hours.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I beat, probe, kiss, suck, lick, swat, smack and fuck to my heart’s content.  He wiggles, moans, screams, pants, bucks and collapses from sheer exhaustion.

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME!

PS: yeah, the boy is forgiven for passing out last night. 

Breaking Complacency

I don’t care much what anyone says, complacency still exists in D/s and BDSM.  You often hear about how D/s relationships are so much better because the power dynamics keep each other from feeling complacent, but many times I wonder if that’s really the case.  I do believe it provides an easier way to break the complacency, but it still happens none the less.  

One of my boys most infuriating habits (at least to me), is that he has no clue when he is actually tired.  It’s written all over his face, but he’ll insist he is fine (and he honestly think he is).  Next thing you know he is sound asleep where ever he happens to be.  And he sleeps like the dead.  There’s no waking him up to get him upstairs, or to play or anything else that may need doing… he’s down for the count.  This often led to heated discussions and even an argument, but eventually I learned that important lesson… As a Domme, you don’t always get what you want, but if you’re creative and flexible, you can get awfully close.  

One of things that irritated me about it was that I often got stuck sleeping in the bed alone.  I’m a creature of touch and I crave it deeply.  Sleeping with someone calms me, relaxes me.  Knowing he is under my roof and not sleeping with me… well… frankly just pissed me off.  But instead of the endless arguments, which I hated, I decided if I gave a little… we’d both end up happier and I’d ultimately get what I wanted which was him in my bed.  My compromise?  I have to be the one to catch him when he’s about to fall asleep.  His new rule was he HAD to go to bed without argument.   It fixed a lot of things for us and made life a lot smoother.  

But once in a while, when life gets busy, we get complacent.  I’m too mentally beat to push at all and he’s too physically beat to pull at all and things tend to slow down around here.  Thankfully my libido keeps us from lasting in these spells for too long.  Unfortunately my timing sucked last night and he fell asleep before I got what I needed.  Since he did promise me play time though... he got to pay for it this morning!

It's not all Hot and Steamy

My blog is often filled with stories of our play time.  It’s what I enjoy writing about and it’s the moments that make me feel all “RAWR”.  Not that I need to feel Rawr to feel all dominant, but it’s what makes me feel like writing about it.  But in all fairness, there are many moments outside of play that I love just as much.

Like when he spent hours finding a garage that was open on a holiday and didn’t cost an arm and a leg to try and get my A/c recharged.  Then he got up early to take my car in only to have them run an inspection of the system and come back with an estimate for repairs that I was NOT going to pay.  But at least with an idea of the problem, he was then able to work with a mechanic friend through half the night, who not only fixed the problem… but did so at a small fraction of the cost the garage wanted to charge.  

It doesn’t always come easy.  Usually the big stuff he jumps in with both feet and follows my intent till the best solutions is found.  But the smaller things, sometimes, require a swift kick.  Like the other day, we had just woken up and realized someone needed to run to the store for breakfast and I had picked him! LOL Of course he hemmed and hawed since he didn’t want to run out either… but a little playful banter and a fun playful shove and off he went.

Other times, it’s the little things he does without prompting that really make me swoon.  Cleaning the whole house while I work, so we can enjoy a quiet evening together.  Surprising me with breakfast in bed.  Organizing the pantry so I can find what I need.  The little things he handles for me, so I can take care of the bigger issues.  

So no, our life isn’t all one big hot and steamy story.  It’s the little things that makes me swoon and feel like a queen that I love so much about him.

Power of D?

D was out last visitor of the night.  Originally, he was tentative.  But about midnight, we received a text from him asking if we were still up.  By 1am, he showed up.  By 1:15, my boy was miraculously healed by the power of D.  Not really healed, but my boy couldn’t stand not to be a part of the energy we tend to create together.  Add into that the fact that my boy had spent the better part of the last 5 hours watching me having sex with others, and his wanton little cuck side won out over his body. 

 

For the last two hours till we passed out, there he stayed, kneeling bedside, taking whatever attention we decided to give him and enjoying being up close and personal with us.  While the guilt I had felt had long since past… it was this moment I finally felt content with my decision to let the night play out.  It was then that I truly knew what lengths he would go to keep me happy.

It’s these moments that I find so rewarding as a Dominant.  It’s so tough to feel secure in the hard decisions.  The decisions to push, pull or otherwise take him to those places he is uncomfortable in.  It not because these things make me uncomfortable.  More because it’s still hard for me to believe someone likes having these things done to them, so it still shocks me a bit when we step over that line.  But any concerns melt away when he falls into line so well.

Sacrifice

I see you lying there, tucked under the covers looking so cute and vulnerable; with that beautiful grin on your face and any guilt I may have been feeling just melts away.

We had planned a day full of fun.  Reservations had been made, invitations sent out.  Yet, as we woke up that morning, I knew you weren’t feeling well.  I extended the option to cancel, if you weren’t feeling up to it… but you furiously shook your head no.  We set about packing the bags and getting everything set for a night away.  Twice I watch as you sit down to catch your breath.  Twice more, I suggest we cancel.  Twice more you adamantly state no, as long as I wanted to, you were fine.

As we drive to the hotel, a twinge of guilt crosses my mind a couple of times.  I know I could stop this, order the car turned around and take you back home and march you into bed.  But that selfish, little devil deep inside kept my mouth shut.  

After checking in, I grab more than my usual share of the bags and head up to the room.  You grab the rest and follow me up a couple minutes behind me.  You enter the room covered in sweat and completely out of breath.  I order you to sit and quickly check to make sure you’re not running a fever.  The guilty twinges get a bit stronger.  I begin unpacking the bags while you catch your breath.  The chores you normally attend to, I take over to let you rest.  But you quickly find your feet and jump in to assist as much as you can.  Watching you forge ahead in your duties, my guilt slips away to simple concern.  I table my original plans to play, just the two of us, and instead spend the next few hours taking care of you and getting ready for our guests.  Settling you into the Jacuzzi tub to ease the aches and clear your head.  Tucking you into bed with a long, slow, soothing massage.  Leaving you to drift in and out of sleep as I get ready.  Watching you peek out from under the covers to catch a glimpse of me from time to time, as I wander by.  

Than the first guest arrives.  You been told to stay in bed, enjoy the show and let me deal with the details.  You fade into the background, as we begin enjoying each other.  I miss not having you bedside, but love the sacrifice from you.  As I peek over at you, I see you lying there, tucked under the covers looking so cute and vulnerable; with that beautiful grin on your face and any guilt I may have been feeling just melts away.