On-line Mind Fuck

This is an excerpt for a few month long conversation with the Pain Toy.  This part lasted 2 days.
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Him:  :( hopefully you have came a bunch of times bc you are mean to ballsacks when you haven't! That 15 strokes then flick thing was sadistic as fuck!

Me:  Sadly.. no, the frustrations growing. Torturing my boy is about all the relief I've really gotten in nearly 2 weeks!!! ARRRGGGGHHHH!   LOL Child's play sweetie... child's play! ;)

Him:  Omg !

That was the worst yet , I felt like my nuts had been put on a table and tenderized like a piece of raw meat. And you just kept pushing me and taunting me!!

Me:  But they're fine now... aren't they?  Just be glad it wasn't me doing the tenderizing!

Him:  Yeah I think so. I'm just not sure nuts were meant to take that kind of punishment!  I'm not sure if I would ever pull my sack out with you in the same room!!

Me:  It's not about what they were meant for, simply what they are capable of taking.  And you and I both know, if I had you in the same room with me, you do whatever I asked!  Now pull them balls out bitch!

Him:  Help!!

That is probably true. Ok it is true.  I hope you added the last part for effect.

Me:  Do I ever?

Him:  No :(

They are out but please no flicking I'm begging

Me:  Such a scaredy cat.  Was just going to have you massage them and tell them you're sorry.

Him:  Is it unreasonable for me to get scared after you tell me to pull them balls out bitch?  Ok I will massage them and say sorry lol

Me:  In ALL our conversations, how many times have I actually made you hurt those sweet balls?

Him:  Good point.  Maybe it was just how you said pull them out.  I can't help but get scared! In person I'd be shaking like a leaf!

Me:  LOL... Of course you are, it's the anticipation of knowing something IS coming and the unsettling thought of the fact you have NO idea what it is.  

By the way.. I think you need to find a little piece a rope (like boot size shoe string). I feel a picture moment coming soon!

Him:  Does that mean a longer shoestring?

Ps you are scaring me again!!!

Me:  Or something similar.

And only time will tell if the fear is justified... as it won't happen today.  It's football day and kick off is here.

Guess you just have to sit with the fear.  Bwahahaha

Him:  Ok.

You love doing that to me!  I just bought a new pair of winter boots and they have extra laces but I was hoping to not have to ruin them. But I know that doing pictures for you is more important than me having good shoelaces.

-Hours later-

Him:  The fear is following me all day today!!

Me:  Delicious!  And doubtful you would ruin it.

Him:  Just tell me how bad it will be please?

Me:  Nope.. nor will I tell you when!

But if you keep asking... we can go back to the ball flicking. Do you need to whip em back out and have a conversation with them?

Him:  Wagghhhh!!   No please I'll stop asking I was just wondering...

Me:  Good boy!

Him:  Thank you.  I will be here worrying about it if you need me :(

Me:  Considering I'm getting my ass spanked in fantasy football... you may want to rethink that offer.  So how's the little penis doing?

Him:  … im doing horribly.

What do you mean the little penis?

Him:  I hope you start winning bc you get cranky when you lose!! Lol  And apparently you just mock my penis size when you're cranky! :(

Me:  LOL... Nah, I really wanted to know how it's doing. I mocked it cause I can! :)~

Him:  It's deflated in fear of the bootlace pic.  You do kind of have unfettered license to mock my junk and abuse it as you deem necessary.

Me:  Awwww.. Poor thing! We'll have to work on that before the pic.  And I do.. don't I? ;)

Him:  I'm full of cum too but on edge and you are taunting me and messing with me!

Him:  You do and you know it and I am starting to believe that when you said ten flicks and my first pic were just the tip of the iceberg that you weren't just joking to scare me...you were telling the truth to scare me!

And I'm scared!

Me:  See how beautifully simple and devilishly complex that is!  And the boot lace pic could turn out to be completely benign, but it still wouldn't change the fun I had! ;)

Him:  So now my mind is your newest target!?  I guess it makes sense to start with the balls and move to the mind.   And I know it won't be some harmless bootlace pic...you even specified for extra length even though you say my dick is small!!

Me:  The mind is ALWAYS the target.  The balls were simply one possible doorway in.  But if you really think about it.. it started long before you ever did the first flick. It's what made you do the first flick. It's not like I tied you down and flick it myself.  I simply convinced you to do it yourself.

Me:  Hahaha.. If you think so.  Maybe it’ll just be a pretty little knots for something nice to look at... or maybe a game of hang man!  Maybe I haven't even decided yet.

Him:  Well now you have my brain tied around my nutsack. I felt so lame counting strokes to 15 then flicking a nut.  And I agree with your analysis I'm just scared of what you will convince me to do to myself next!!!

Him:  Omfgggg please don't play hangman with my junk!!

Me:  So why did it make you feel lame?

Me:  LOL... And why not, you don't even know what it is!

Him:  Just because how I would get scared at like stroke ten and was dreading it but still doing it. The counting part was just degrading. I seriously had to count aloud because it was easier but ended up being humiliating.
I'm guessing your version of hangman is more about hurting my junk than working on word skills. Just a hunch!

Me:  Or it could be both... Painfully working on word skills.  But safe to say... whatever it is, I'll find it delicious!

By the way, do you know how to tie a noose?

Him:  Omggg please be nice. I just had to do like 4x the prior high in nut flicking like less than a week ago.  Please don't make me literally choke my chicken!!

No I don't know how to tie a noose. This is a serious mindfuck!

Him:  Is there anyway I can get out of this? Pushups, licking up precum, some combination of the two?

Me:  You don't even know what it is, and yet you're still desperate to get out of it. Tsk! Tsk!  Though you do give me such wonderful ideas!

Him:  I'm sorry! It is just that my mind can't think of one harmless thing you'd have me find a long shoelace for!!

Omg they weren't ideas! Just examples to show my desperation to avoid tying up my junk until it turns purple!!!

Him:  Can I have a safeword please!???

Me:  You know what your safe word is... I explained it long ago. The door is always open and I've never forced or demanded that you ever reach out. You do that of your own free will.  But you keep coming back. You always come back. Deep down, you know I'd never truly harm...just bruise every once in a while.

But I repeat... you still don't even know what it is.

Him:  Oh I agree with that I can't help it! I am definitely hooked on your personality; how you treat me and the way in which you make me do things. I meant more like a task switch I'm allowed to use like once every 90 days.

Him:  Ok I don't know what it is but my mind is assuming the worst!

Me:  It's far past my bed time.  I must head off to dreams of nooses, pictures, hangman and bootlaces.

But no.. you don't get a free pass. That's cheating.  Though begging is always allowed. You simply have to find the right way to beg that speaks to my sweet side! ;)

Him:  You're making me whimper.  Sleep well.  I will try to figure out the proper begging techniques!

Digital Play Toy

I'm not shy about saying I'm not a fan of on-line play.  It's far too limited, just not personal enough, and there's no touch.  I love touch!  Not  having it is just blah to me.  But I learned long ago, never say never.. and now I have take back the whole "I don't do On-line Play" mantra

I have an on-line pain toy.

There I said it.  It's still far too limited, not personal enough and there's no touch.  It's not something I can see me looking for or even wanting.  This?  This just sort of happened. He had reached out sometime back within my first year into BDSM.  A pretty simple message and a polite reply turned into a slow moving conversations of one liners, short stories and brief notes that went on for 2 years.  Occasionally he'd ask a question that would turn into more indepth conversations... but for the most part, it's a pretty shallow relationship.  I don't know his name, I don't really know what he does for a living, I don't know what his hobbies are, I've never seen his face.  What I do know is he's a submissive man who is tentatively exploring this side of himself.  He's still a little confused about what it is he likes and why he likes it... but he's learning.  He's a pain slut, who dreads the thought of pain, hates the feeling of pain, yet craves it deeply. 

So one has to wonder, how or why did something so simple and silly morph into.. well, what ever it is you'd call it.  I won't let him call me his mistress, or domme, or anything like that.  I don't want the responsibility, so I simply refuse to take authority.  He messages me when he wants, I reply when I want.  All I ever do is torture him... there's no loving sweetness, no commitments, no promises.  I exert no more control then the little bits I demand in conversation... and even then, we both are well aware I can't really make him do anything.  It's pure obedience based.  I say, he does.  That's basically it.

 It's a playful indulgence.  It's a wicked playful indulgence.  So he's been named my digital pain toy.